FotL - Boot to the Head

Gilan: As the executor of Lady Lyra's estate, I have been empowered to read Lady Lyra's Last Will And Testament.

Beran: Well, get on with it, i have to sleep.

Mara: Oh, poor, dear Lyra! Waaaa!

Chisel: Oh, there, there, Mara. *huggles*

Avi: Kizus, how predictably boring.

Chosovi: ... My poor little sis......

Dongo: *is just watching* ...

Gilan: If we are all seated... I shall proceed with the reading.

Avi: I knew it.

Beran: Heh heh heh heh.

Gilan: "I, Lyra Queen of Everything," pffft "being of sound mind and body..."

Beran: That's a laugh! Hehehe...

Gilan: "...do hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows. To my overly emotional leader, Mara..."

Mara: Waaaa!

Chisel: Mara, darling, he's talking about us.

Mara: *sniffle* Oh.

Gilan: "...who grubbed with her husband, Chisel, grubbed for everything they could get from me, and then cried crocodile tears when I needed sympathy..."

Mara: *sobs* What?

Gilan: "...To Mara, I leave... a boot to the head."

Mara: A what?

*BONK!*

Mara: OW!

Chosovi: !

Chisel: MAAAARA, are you okay? D:

Gilan: "...and another boot to her wimpy husband, Chisel."

*BONK!*

Chisel: Owww!

Beran: Hahahahaha...

Mara: *hugs Chisel* This is an outrage!

Gilan: "...ah, but still, you are my leader, you have both admired my Ferrari, and since I no longer need it..."

Mara: Oh, dear Lyra, she's too kind!

Chisel: Yup... *rubs head*

Gilan: "...I bequeath another boot to the head."

Mara: What?!

*BONK!*

Mara: Ow!

Avi: ...

Beran: Hahahaha...

Gilan: "And one more for the wimp."

*BONK!*

Chisel: Ow! My mohawk!

Gilan: "Next, to that sleepyhead of a war chief..."

Beran: Hey, I don't want no boot to the head!

Gilan: "...to dear Beran, who has never worked a day in his sleepy life..."

Beran: I'm coverin' up my head!

Gilan: "...I leave my wine cellar and three crates of my finest whiskey."

Beran: ... really?

Gilan: "And a boot to the head."

*BONK!*

Beran: OH!

Gilan: "And another for Mara and the wimp."

*BONK!*

Mara: Oh!

*BONK!*

Chisek: Ow!

Gilan: "Next, to my know-it-all mentor, Avi..."

Avi: This is so predictable...

Gilan: "...I leave a boot to the head."

*BONK!*

Avi: Uh! I knew it.

Gilan: "And one for Mara and the wimp."

*BONK!*

Mara: Ah!

*BONK!*

Chisel: OW!

Gilan: "This takes care of tribe obligations. And now, to my dear sister Vi..."

Chosovi: Oh, uh, I don't want nothin'...

Gilan: "...who took care of me faithfully these many, many years, who cared, made me laugh, brought me prey..."

Chosovi: Oh, I didn't mind...

Gilan: "To my sis Chosovi, I bequeath..." *sighs* "...a boot to the head."

*BONK!*

Chosovi: OH!

Avi: WAT

Gilan: "And one for Mara and the wimp."

*BONK!*

Mara: AH!

*BONK!*

Chisel: OH!

Gilan: "And so, to... uhn... that cool guy, Dongo, I leave my entire vast...boot to the head!"

*BONK!*

Dongo: WAHGH!

Avi: WAT

Gilan: "And finally, to my lawyer, Gilan GrizzlyBear, who has helped me on this will, I leave not a boot to the head..." Thank Kizus"but a rabid Tasmanian devil, to be placed in his trousers?!" Ooohhh!! Oh, huh OW UGH huh, and, and, "...and I LeaveMyEntireEstateOf$10MillionToTheGuysOfTheOutcastsSoTheyCanAffordToMoveSomewhereDecent!" UUUUggghhhh *facedesks* *mumbles*Burn in hell you whiny little bitch...*mumbles*

Chisel: ...Is ... Is that it?

Avi: That's it?

Beran: That's disgraceful.

Gilan: *grumbles and checks paper* Uhn... there's one last thing for everyone.

Beran: Cover your heads, everybody!

Gilan: "I leave everyone a lifetime supply... of ice cream."

Chisel: Ice cream?! c:

Beran: Ice cream? :v

Avi: Ice cream, that's all? :/

Gilan: That's all.

Chosovi: ...Well, what flavor is it?

Gilan: ... Boot to the head!

*BONK!* *BONK!* *BONK!* *BONK!*

All: OW!

---

Gilan, Lyra, and parody, RainfoxArts / Me!
Chosovi, BosleyBoz
Avi, VertigoCrime
Chisel, AskTyranno
Mara, mickleo
Beran, Delui
Dongo, Tunquen
Last Will And Temperament, The Frantics